February yang panjang..

Salam..
Bile februari nak ended ni..
Ya allah..
Andai Kau bisa bekukan perasaan dan air mata ini pd bulan februari..
Ape aku ngarut ni..
Bkn ape..
Sedih..
Sedih tgk twins mengejar utk naikkan berat bdn..
Sbnrnya aku ptt brsyukur..
Syukur yg amat..
Sbb twins sihat tanpa komplikasi pramatang yg lain..
Hanya jaundice biase and weight issue..
Tp hati ibu mana yg tahan..
Mstilah mahu yg trbaik buat anak..

Harini day 12 of life derang..
Ayra: dalam incub lg..sbb berat still xcukup..from 1.5kg..naik jd 1.51kg..
Yup..in first few weeks babies will lost weight bfore gaining back..
Sabarlah ayra melalui smua tu..mama doakan ayra stiap hari..
And ayra still jaundice..
Xtggi..
Ayra taking my ebm well..26ml/3hourly
No more rt..

Ayka: dah turun cot..td xde photo pon..tp muke mcm jaundice lg..
Mama happy sgt rase nk melompat td..tgk berat ayka..
From 1.6kg..dh jd 1.75kg..
Cecah 1.8kg bole balik..
Tp takut jaundice balik..
Better wait till 2kg..
Ayka dh full feeding dgn ebm..32ml/3 hourly..

Still..derang sgt kcik..
Fragile..
Aku takut..

Walaupon mase posting peads..
Aku dh lalui segalanya..
Bende biase.
Malah byk yg lg teruk aku dh tgk..
Tp..
Bile rase sndiri..
Mmg aku merasainya sbgai seorg ibu..bkn doktor..

Penat nangis..
Hanya mampu sediakan ebm..
And bzikir..

Sayangku..
Ayra dan ayka..
Tabahkan hati..
Lalui februari dgn cekal..
Teman mama..
Harap2 mac nnt kite bsama..

Ya Allah peliharalah mereka di scn..

Mac..dtglah cpt..
Aku xtenteram selagi kembar di scn.........

twin delivery..part 1..

salam..
yup..i delivered my twins safely at 33/52 + 4/7 poa..
punyala brharap nk deliver at 35/52 and at kpj ipoh..
namun..
Allah yg tahu ape yg terbaik buat hambanya..

ceritanya..
hari sabtu..
hari aqiqah ank sedara kt melaka..si waie..
ofcoz la xleh g..
my parents ingt nk g..
tp aku ckp eh kang ape2 jd sape nk anta aku g spital..
so anta paen jd wakil..

paen x balik jumaat tu..terus g melaka..
on saturday..paen janji nk balik kul 2 ptg..
tup2 kul 12 mlm bru smpi..
tu pon lps drama bagai..
emo la si ibu buyung ni..
stress dok jage aina sorg2..
ini kenyataan ye..bkn mls nk lyn aina..
tp keadaan time tu xmngizinkn..

mase dinner..ade issue gak..
bbh ckp jd g kl on monday..
i was like..ha?
aritu ckp xjd..
smua nk g lak tu..
tgl aku dgn bibik n aina pgsan la..
kot terberanak..
dah la awal2 dh gtau bbh paen xdpt cuti thaipusam isnin tu..
aku pon..
sobs sbos..sedih..
xde org nk jage..

tu yg mlm tu agak stress..
tetibe kul 1230 am..
right after bukak pagar paen balik..
g toilet..
eh..

terase ade air klua..
sikit je..
i thought keputihan kot..
balik bilik..
tetibe ats katil..
terasa klua lg..
sikit..
xsedap ati dh..
3-4x g toilet sbb terasa cmtu..
deng..
paen dh la penat bru balik dr melaka..
terus alarmed parents n paen..
paen agak stres disitu..
sbb bru nk lelap..
siap ckp 'ala xde ape tu..g tdo..jgn layankn'
ermm..
sape suh kawen dgn doktor..
i know more la..
dah tau ni bkn keputihan nor urine..
gosh!
im leaking! againnnnnnnnnnn..

bile gtau mama, mama ckp ready la..
pegi je spital..cek dulu..
bru paen nk glabah kmas beg..
my hospital beg mmg separuh siap ok..hoho..

dlm hati..
haih..mengeluh jugak..aku xnk deliver kt gh ipoh..
why it happened to me?
agak down n hilang keimanan jap time tu..

nk smpi ke dewan bersalin gh ipoh tu mak aiiiii..
org india tgh celebrate thaipusam..meriah giler..
kul 1 pagi smpi gh..
terus g labour room..
bg ic kat misi..
bg buku merah..update fb..huu..
misi terkedu..
bile ckp..twin..xcukup bulan..
baru 33 mggu..
leaking dh..
pastu ade gak misi yg ckp besnye twin..
so aku pon buat ctg dulu..
ctg..nk buat utk singleton pon jenuh..
inikan lak twin..
sejam kot buat..tu pon putus2 contact..
tetibe ade ho laki masuk..
tgk ctg..
ni aku hangin ni..masuk cmtu je..
terus aku bolayan dia..
yg clerk aku ho india serani kot..pompuan..
tanye sikit2 je..
bgn je dari ctg tu..
'bussshhhhhh'
ok..confirmed.
im leaking!

sgt xselesa..

bkn sikit yg klua..byk ok..
fine..
lama gak nk tggu ho examine..
3-4x g toilet tuka modes..
haish..

then ho pgl nk examine..
assistant dia ho laki..
tetibe spontan aku ckp..
'tanak dia boleh?'
hoho..jht gile aku..
mentang2 mo..(medical officer)
demand..
1st time aku kna speculum..
sakit nk mmpus!
ve skali..os 1cm..i guess thats parous os la..
pastu tggu lg..
aku dh kebanjiran mcm hape..

kul 330 am bru mo dtg..
dr sharifah gak..
ve lg..os 1cm..
dia scan terus..
efw both babies 1.9kg..
afi ok lg..
ctg ade contraction plak even aku xrase pon..
so kna admit labour room..
ho pompuan tu set line ijau..
agak poor teknik dia..salah teknik kot..bazir je..
dah cucuk n darah klua, tarikla jarum tu kua..ni dok cucuk lagi smpai masuk smua jarum..
confirmla injured vein aku..ngek..dlm ati confirm xtahan lama ni..
tp diam jela..
aku mmg cuba bersabar sepanjang proses kat gh ni..
kat labour room..
sgt2 xselesa..
babies berombak2..
gerak sikit je,kua air..
basah kain pon xde org peduli..
kul 9 specialist dtg..
cek perut je..
dia ckp vent not avail..
so xleh op lg..
tetibe aku nampak dr nusrat..
pehh..
tradisi..tradisi..
dia gertak ho suh cari vent..
sblom habis round
specialist ckp vent avail dah..ade dua..both in gh..
just in case..
and terus planned for op..

hmm..quite nervous altho dh pnh rase..
and my god..nurse ni insert cbd sgt saket!
kt kpj xsaket pon nurse tu buat..

tggu lagi..

tggu lagi dan lagi..
lama giler mnunggu..
mama n paen gilir masuk labour room tgk aku..
mtk maaf dgn paen bagai..
still mnunggu lg..adoi..

kul 1.30 bru tolak ot..
anaesth yg bg spinal was an indian female..
agk ganas n x bes la..
anaesth mase kt kpj was a chinese male yg suh aku bace doa bagai..
and sgt soothing n calming ayat2 dia..

surgeon was an mo je..
guess who?
dr nusrat ok..
aihhh..
org yg aku elak..
bia la..asalkn dia buat keje bagus..
op this time i was not given propofol..
mmg sedar..
perut dikorek2 ditonyoh2.,
then 1st twin kua..crying loudly n vigorous..
dlm hati ni lega Allah je tau..alhamdulillah..
2nd twin kua..crying loudly jugek..
both derang bg aku tgk n kiss..
mmg nangis time tu..
babies tecik tp vigorous..

the op was less than an hour..
trdgr dr nusrat bebel marah ho yg assist..huhuu..
then aku ditolak ke observation room..
sgt lama disitu..
i was alone..
mamai..
perasaan mamai yg dasyat..sgt dasyat ok..nk tdo xleh..
tp aku cuba lawan..
gerak2kn tgn..
mase dtolak ke wad plak..
gedegang gedegung aku diangkut ganas..
terasa sakit tmpat op..
ngilusss..
bape kali tah tuka katil..
smpai wad bilik 10-2
first class 2 org..
lie flat..
mamainess..

after like 2 hours my parents n hubby came..
kakja n abg azam pon dtg..
i was really mamai..
derang dh tgk babies..
kt nicu..

sambung later..

Berpantang review..

Salam..today im 33/52 sharp..
Another 2 weeks to go at least..
So far babies ok..
Gerak ok..
Scar ok..
Today gaji plus bonus!
Nak beli set berpantang tanamera..
Dont get me wrong..
I wont pakai param pilis vco bagai..
Just beli loose set for mandian, shampoo..nak wangi n segarkan bdn..
Harga quite ok la..
Rm150 leh dpt byk sabun shampoo bagai..bkn la byk..tp cukupla satu set mase btpantang..
Hubby akan sponsor set shaklee esp..just in case nak topup milk..
Tungku bengkung pakai yg lama suda..
Bengkung moden dh rosak so pakai yg batu tu..hehe lg sedap..
Bengkung lak jenis yg tarik2 silang2 pangkah tu..mom's..
Dulu pakai xsmpai smggu sbb susah sgt nak pakai sndiri..
Nak peepee pon leceh.
So this time bajet nak beli autumz postpartum abdominal binder..
Kt kedai jual rm69.90..
Littlewhiz tgh sale rm62+ je..
Nampak bes sbb cangkuk je hahaha..
Bidan urut?
Last time xsmpat pgil..dok delay je..
This time not sure..
Malas nak urut2 ni..
Tgkla cmane.
Bidan tu dlm neighbourhood jugak..senang nak cari..
Menu?
Mcm biase..
Mak salu masak ikan yg xgatal..
Ayam..ikan bilis..
Roti..
Yg no-no mestilah telur!
Okla..
Lapa suda..
Mau mamam..

2/52 cepatlah berlalu dgn aman..
Aminnnnn..

Twins update..

Salam..
Today im 32/52 + 5/7..
Tca with dr sharifah in kpj after few months..
Huu..
My first q..
Boleh ke deliver kat kpj IF 34/52 sharp or lebih skittt..
She didnt answer..
Instead saying..
I didnt see any reason for u to deliver early..so far xde complications..can reach 36/52 at least..just rest at home will do..
Dalam ati..
Apepon..smua ketentuan Allah..
Insyaallah..
Then mtk dose for im dexa..
Utk matangkan paru2..
In case prem..
Tu pon tapau bwk balik..
G klinik gp mane2 suh cucuks kan..
Menggigil je bdn mase scan..
Risau..
Geli kna prob tu kekke..
And xselesa sgt sbb perut dh padat..
First twin cephalic..efw: 1.7kg..
2nd twin transverse not far from the first one..efw: 2.2kg..

Afi cukup..
Alhamdulillah..
Syukur sgt..
Skg brdoa agar babies n me terus sehat until delivery..
Me hoping for at least 35/52 so that bole deliver kat kpj..

Ya Allah..takutnya aku..risau..
Hnya padaMu kuserah nasebku dan babies..

Another 2/52 plus..
Chaiyok!
Aminnnnnnnnn..

Counting weeks..

Salam..today im 32/52 + 4/7..basically dah 33/52..

Bace bloggers blogs..yg twin ramai gak deliver at this week..

Im nervous..hoping for 35/52..
Another 2 weeks at least..
Ya Allah..
Tolong hambamu ini..

Tik tok tik tok..
Plz let me thru another 2 uneventful weeks..

8 months pregnant..

salam..update skit je..arini kenduri..
kenduri tahlil buat arwah2 belah mama..
and kenduri smoga slmt bsalin for me..

today im 31/52 + 3/7..
basically dah 32/52..8 months..

hoping for another at least 3 uneventful weeks..
pray for me..
insyaallah..
walopon ramai skeliling sy ckp..
ooh sy msti prem sbb dahla kcik *pendek*,ade previous scar n poor spacing..
sy berserah pd Allah sbb still percaya pd qada n qadar serta kalimah
'kun fayakun'

dgn izin Allah..
anything can happen.. ;)))

Incik japaraj..eh dr japaraj..

Salam..
On friday the 4th jan 2013..
I went to japaraj's visiting clinic at kpj..he is quite surprised..thinking that dr sharifah might worried about something regarding my pregnancy..so as to let him see me once..
Actually..
Dr sharifah is on loooong leaves since christmas..
Knowing that twin pregnancy must be seen paling cikai pon sbulan skali..
So dia suh japaraj tgk aku skali..
Ermm..
Then japaraj ckp this time for sure nak lscs kan?
Yup yup.
And same thing..if im prem,ill hav to deliver at ipoh gh..oh..
Ya allah..jauhkanlah aku dari staf yg xseswai kalau kat sana..
Thats my biggest worry!
Tanak deliver kat ipoh gh plz huhuu..
Ya allah tolonglah hambamu ini..
Aku xkuat nak deliver kat ipoh gh dgn prem twins lagi..
Dari MO smpai nurses..smua i heard yg buruk2..;(
Ok..back to japaraj..
Dia terus scan je..
Buat detail scan..3d..and us doppler..
Alhamdulillah rasa nak nangis..
Twins sehat..
Even at 30/52,gestation aku 31/52..
Sorg efw 1.3kg..sorg 1.7kg..but japaraj ckp yg 2nd tu mcm xaccurate sgt sbb baby nye position lari2..maybe kurg lg..
Kalau masuk nicu,
Kna tgu berat cecah 1.7kg bru discharge..
Dilemma..
In 2/52 time ill be on loong leave..so as to run away from work..they wont stop giving me tasks as if im singleton.. ;(
Coti yg dkumpul dr last yr ade la 16 ari..cmpur public hols maulidur rasul, thaipusam, chinese new yr..dpt la coti from 18jan till 12feb..
12 feb tu im already 36/52..so i dont mind la kalau nak trberanak mase keje pon..dah agak term..
Ill be on leave from 33/52-35/52 nak masuk 36/52..dok umah je standby..
Ya allah aku hanya mampu merancang..kau yg menentukan sesuatu yg terbaik buatku..

5 weeks to go at least!!!
Insyaallah..